I Dare You!

Well, after a long hiatus from blogging, my brain has finally filled back up with lots of fun and funny feelings to share!

For those of you following cross country skiing, you are likely just as exhausted from watching all the races in the past two weeks as we are from racing them. I just finished my third ever Tour de Ski, and I’m stoked to celebrate my best ever finishing place! Super quick review: the Tour de Ski is seven races in nine days, taking place in three venues--lots of racing, lots of traveling, and even more eating and sleeping. The Tour de Ski is a beast of its own, and by far my favorite event in this sport! During the summer months when I am on week three of a big period of training, and I feel like there is no possible way to make it through the interval set in my exhausted state… I channel my Tour de Ski dreams. I love the feeling of kind of losing your mind from exhaustion, and digging out one more gear.

Tour de Ski… where you do weird things like wear heating pads on your head because you are nervous…. and you give yourself headaches!

You also have to be a pro at traveling light, because you move in and out of hotel rooms every other day.

The first races of the Tour de Ski were in Lenzerheide, Switzerland. After spending the holiday in France, the French team graciously took me in, and transported me back to Switzerland to start the Tour. I could tell my body was feeling good, so I decided to start day one with no fear. As I took off in the mass start, I jumped in behind our sports strongest distance skier, Therese Johaug, and found my comfort following. About two kilometers into the race, things fell apart, and I found myself being passed by packs of girls every downhill. I quickly realized there was something terribly wrong with my skis. They were not moving at a speed relative to those around me, and I was going to have to dig to deep levels to make it to the finish line losing as little time as possible. With every second mattering in this tour format of racing, I willed myself to roll my eyes back, and not give up. As I sprinted for the finish line with Jessie Diggins for 29th and 30th place, I had to quickly make sure to keep my confidence alive. Rather than falling into the world of questioning if I had severely messed my training up during Christmas, I dared myself to believe. The following day, I bounced back, making it into the finals in the sprint.

The pre-tour high… where you can’t wait for what is to come. (Nordic Focus photo)

Regaining confidence on stage 2. (Nordic Focus photo).

Super thankful for my new wax technician, Per Erik Bjørnstad! This guy works harder than anyone I have ever seen in my life. Just like athletes, some days you just miss the wax, despite your best effort. The most you can ever ask of anyone is their best effort, something that is a guarantee with Per Erik! (Nordic Focus photo)

From there we moved onto Toblach, Italy, where I had a decent distance skate race, which put me in a place to work with my strong teammates, Jessie and Rosie, in a pursuit style classic race based on our results from the day before. As I took off on my classic skis in the fourth race of the Tour, I headed up the first hill feeling like I could chase anyone. I noticed my skis were not kicking very well, but I tried to jump out of the track, run the hills, and stay focused on the task at hand. About halfway through the race, the group from behind caught me, and I clinched on, holding on for dear life. During the first half of the race, I had pushed myself so hard in combination with my slick skis that I had little to nothing left in my arms. I managed to once again roll my eyes back, and will myself to hang onto this group to the finish. Although it wasn’t a disaster, I had once again lost vital seconds that I needed for the overall tour.

Sometimes you just need a teammate to share a hug with before you swallow your disappointment, and pull out your positive spirit. I’m pretty lucky to have my closest training buddy by my side for the highest and lowest days of both my summer and winter. This girl has the ability to force another gear out of me when I don’t think I have it, and the ability to turn my spirits around in a heartbeat. When they say “surround yourself in the best if you want to be the best”, it is safe to say I have done that! (Nordic Focus photo)

Going into the Tour de Ski, my single greatest goal was to race every day without an influence from the day before. If racing had been going well, I didn’t want to put extra pressure on myself to keep it up. If it had gone poorly, I didn’t want to just assume my shape was bad, or I had screwed everything up. When you have really high goals for your finishing place, in general, you can have one imperfect race during the seven days of racing, but not two. On stage four, when I realized I had surpassed my allotment, I caught myself getting a bit bummed.

When you watch these races from the outside, it may seem obvious that it takes a lot of grit to race day after day, but I think more importantly is how much guts it takes. Daring yourself to keep believing when the plan doesn’t go as “planned” is scary. Daring yourself to think you can turn around a day later and chase the best is scary. Daring yourself to not let your mind question is scary. But these daring decisions are unbelievably liberating!

Channeling my focus and fight. (Nordic Focus photo)

When stage four went a little south, I forced myself to reach outside for help. I relied on my teammates, my coaches, and my tech to give me some extra encouragement. Fortunately, we had a day off between stage 4 and 5, because during that time I got my mind back on track. 

Between racing, you will find us either sleeping or eating. The key to the TDS is focusing as much on your recovery as your racing!

And guess what!? I turned that energy and belief into one of my best distance races of all time on stage 5! By this point, we are what you call “off our rockers”. The exhaustion of five days of racing makes you intoxicated on fatigue. You laugh at things that aren’t generally funny, you say things that don’t make sense, you take extra long to think through a question, and you are quite literally crawling on your hands and knees up the stairs. With only two more races left though, the end is in sight.

Fatigue has this funny way of pulling the strangest ideas out of you… wearing mustaches to the meeting being one of those.

Professional racers and professional resters!

Stage 6 was a sprint race this year, which is relatively new for the Tour. This was one of the races I was looking forward to the most. Sprinting with tired muscles just sounded funny, and I knew I had plenty of practice for that from my summer months of training. When you are racing day after day, you lose track of the normal nerves and fears that come with a weekend of racing. Your body stops having the energy to produce that as much, so you show up on the start line laughing, and sort of tripping over yourself. Somehow, when the gun goes off, your mind goes into its fighting instincts, and you can find your sprinting gear. Having some of the best feelings I have ever had in a sprint, I conserved my energy through the heats, on a mission to win the day. When the finals came around, I did my best to put myself in the right place at the right time, with the right energy…. But encountered a bit of bad luck in combination with a few wrong lane choices, which left me fourth place by a hair. With such amazing feelings that day, this particular disappointment was hard to swallow. Who knew you could have so many feelings in the course of nine days?!

The group that finished the full tour. Massive shoutout to Allen, our nutritionist who kept us well fed at all hours, and Josh, our massage therapist who kept our muscles recovering and firing!

What I eventually settled on the second to last day of the tour is this: daring yourself to believe comes with its consequences. Generally the difference between a success and a failure is so small that if you beat yourself up about it, you are taking more out of the bank than putting in! You are leaving no room for investment, you are just living by the day. Day six, I willed myself to consider it a success, and use my good feelings and lessons to invest in the next sprint I get to do.

And that brings me to stage 7: the final and hardest stage of them all. Who ever thought it was a good idea to race up an alpine slope after six days of racing? Not me!! This is by far the most mentally and physically painful thing I could chose to do. I can’t even explain how loud your braining is screaming “ouch”. Somehow, I miraculously convinced the voice in my head to be more positive than normal, and I got myself up that climb fast enough to hold onto 7th place overall in the tour! My best ever finish. Although it wasn’t the original goal I was shooting for, I am darn proud to have achieved that given some of the mistakes I had over the course of seven days.

Grinding up the alpine slope, one step at a time. (Nordic Focus photo)

A happy crew, for making it to the top!! No matter what place you cross that line, it is an unbelievable achievement to have made it there!!

Although I am constantly striving for perfection, I am not afraid to recognize my progress. I have come a long ways in daring myself to believe. The tour is not only amazing because of the racing and experiences, but because of the insanely condensed emotion that causes you to grow!

Just because behind the scenes is always an entertaining view, here are a few of my favorite moments from the tour:

-       warming up with Katharine Ogden the last day of the tour watching her try to wrap her brain around what she was about to do…. And having no idea what she had signed herself up for.

-       Listening to the French coaches cheering me on in stage 1 despite the fact that something had obviously gone a little wrong—a meaningful expression of respect.

-       Working on skis with my wax technician between stage 4 and 5, and hearing him tell me to “ski on my toe balls”. A direct translation from Norwegian that came across very funny! (what he meant was the ball of my foot)

-       Midnight munching on ProBars in the bathroom, because I woke up starving at 3AM the night before the last race.

-       Starting stage 4 with Rosie and Jessie, working together with my training buddies to chase the world.

-       Wearing mustaches to our final team meeting, just because weird is the new normal at that stage of fatigue.

-       Driving five hours between the first two venues, and stopping to pee every 30 minutes because we are obsessed with staying hydrated during these events. (The World’s most patient coaches dealing with it.)

-       Calming race nerves with Lizzo

- Blending all our food by the end of the tour… cherishing our team nutritionist, Allan, for hiding spinach, ice cream, probiotics, oatmeal AND vitamin C in our survival smoothies.

Over and Out

Another season, another winter on the road, another year of committing my life towards this sport and this goal of mine. I have been racing on the World Cup full time now for six years, which means I have been to the same race venues as many as seven or eight times.  Hard to believe that time has gone by so fast, but I guess that is a sure sign I am having fun!

 One of the things that I have learned “with age” is that despite the fact that I have become a regular on the World Cup tour, I can never become an expert. The courses change, the snow changes, the competitors change, the equipment and waxing change. As a result, just when I think I have figured something out, there is something new coming my way. That is the challenge of it all, and quite frankly, the fuel behind the fire.

I think of being an athlete as being an entrepreneur or a business owner. You create a mission, set out your own steps to accomplish that goal, and you work towards it. Even if your business was crushing last year, it doesn’t give you a free pass to crush this year. Your homework is never over; you are simply building on yesterday. As a skier, I have used every step of success as money in my brain bank. While it doesn’t guarantee I will reach that level again, it DOES guarantee that I have the tools to chase it.

Using my tools to chase. (Nordic Focus photo)

 Cross-country skiing has transformed over the past couple of years. As the snow has become more variable, and our equipment more finely tuned, there becomes more details of the sport. Waxing has become more challenging and impactful, technique has transformed, and it feels like general fitness of the field simply increases. Just when I thought I had become one of the strongest double polers in the world, the Russian women took it one step further. Just when I thought I had figured out being the quickest off the line, there is someone quicker. Just when I thought I had mastered my free skating, some young Swedish girl goes flying right by me. The world just keeps getting better, the goal just keeps becoming higher, and the job just keeps going.  Just when I think I have grabbed that bar, it gets raised! That is both the beauty and the thorn of “the challenge”, and the job I get to do. I am an entrepreneur of my sport, on a mission to be better than the best.

GIving my all (Nordic Focus photo)

Every winter we put our homework to the test. We race weekend after weekend, measuring ourselves up against the rest, using each race as money in our brain bank. As with most, this season brought a collection of goods and bads. For the first time ever, I put my full attention towards the championship event. I have always been one to enjoy the thrill of quite literally racing until I can’t any more. I don’t really like to focus on one specific set of races, I like to just aim and shoot as fast as I can, performing as best to my ability all season long. For that reason, I have gotten really good at having consistent racing throughout the winter. It has never really allowed me to peak at one event, but it has allowed me to enjoy the heck out of just trying 100 times. This winter, I decided it was time to try something new, and put some focus to the madness.

The focus face. (Nordic Focus photo)

 Despite the fact that my focus at Championships didn’t produce the medal I was aiming for, I was proud of the way I approached it, attempted it, and didn’t let myself get too disappointed when I fell short of my goal. I am a student after all, and with every short fall, there is always a lesson to learn for the next attempt. I am walking away from this season proud of many new accomplishments and improvements I made. Sometimes that means putting things in perspective. I am competing against “the best in the world” after all, no padding or peaches with that level! But, as with any entrepreneur, my mind is already set on the next bar, the next level, and what is next!

Lucky to be surrounded by this incredible group of women on my mission. (Nordic Focus photo)

 I can guarantee the level of this sport will be one step higher next winter! I am excited to challenge myself every day this summer, and mentally and physically prepare myself to be one of the best of the best. That bar just keeps rising, and despite the fact that I have been chasing it full time for six years now, I am still just as excited to keep gunning full force at it.

Enjoying every moment of finishing my winter on “usa soil” in my blue APU suit. (Reese Brown photo)

 But first, a few weeks of rest and recovery. I demand a lot of my mind and muscles all summer, fall and winter. Part of getting better is making sure I take the time to turn off, and reset. So I am off to spend some time with my family and some sunshine. Thank you to everyone who was part of cheering, supporting and pushing me through this season!

Making time to get one crust cruise in before I head off for the spring.

A Moment to Remember

Ten days have passed, and I think I have finally completely processed the past couple weeks of World Championships in Seefeld, Austria. I walked away not having achieved my goals on a piece of paper, but having achieved many other process goals along the way. For that reason, I can truly say I have no regrets.

When I set goals this summer, I decided I wanted to take a season to put full focus on the World Championships. In the past years of my ski racing, I have felt like I was doing that, but I started to realize I had never given myself a solid 4-5 week pre-Championships training block. In my coach’s opinion, that is what I was missing to find my absolute tiptop form at Championships. So the decision was made, I was going to go full steam for Seefeld. Having had two amazing races there last year, my brain was all game!

Little did I predict that this plan was going to be emotionally tough. Having to drop out of the Tour de Ski, skipping World Cups, training through racing weekends, staying in one hotel for three weeks for a training block: these were all things I didn’t quite anticipate the emotional effects of. My brain may be the strongest muscle in my body, but it also is human! As I kept my head down, and my heart focused, I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it.

During Christmas time, when I was stressing about being sick so much this fall and again at Christmas, my fiancé told me something I will never forget. Despite the fact he has an alpine background, and quit racing during his high school years, he has an incredible ability to relate. As I was questioning some decisions I had made this fall, he lectured me on regret. He told me that at this point in my career, I am not allowed to regret anything. I either do it right, or I learn from the experience. There is no right and wrong. There is only learning. If I put the pressure on myself to always do it right because I have achieved a high level, it will destroy me. I couldn’t believe how insightful that was, and I recognized that was true. Placing and podiums are not the only measure. Committing and learning is “improvement”. 

So, with that said, I went through this winter trying to remind myself to have no regrets! When things got tough, I kept going back to “learning from the experience”. I worked on keeping my brain in check, because I knew that was going to make the difference. 

 The weekend leading into World Championships, we had a race weekend in Cogne, Italy. During that final weekend of racing, I found my belief, my strength, and my mental happy place. The past two months of training through races, staying in hotel rooms, and watching World Cup weekends from the TV became worth it! I headed into the Championships more “hungry and prepared” than ever.

Six person drag race in Cogne (Nordic Focus photo)

A little extra loving from family just before the Championships.

The first race of the Championships was the skate sprint, the race I was individually looking forward to the most. My skating felt amazing, and my tactics were improving. I made a “game plan” for the quarterfinals to the best of my ability, and put myself in the exact place I wanted. On the long downhill, I popped out of the draft one second too late, missed my moment, and was boxed in so much that I couldn’t put my powerful, amazing feelings to use. Just like that, the day was over, and I wasn’t able to advance out of the quarterfinals. But, that is sprinting, it is hard to always do the right thing at the right time.  No regrets, the lesson I learned was to commit to my plan one second earlier for the rest of the Championships. 

Pre-champs excitement! (Reese Brown photo)

Pre heat, pre chopping session on our new race suits. (Getty Images)

The second race of my Championships was the classic team sprint, one I was feeling pretty lucky to be part of. Both Jessie and I channeled our “sideline antsy pants” and sprint frustration into this relay event we knew we had a chance at. The semi finals went well, and I got a good feeling for where I wanted to position myself. I knew the course was short and speedy, so I needed to be in the front. Unfortunately we started back row in the finals, and I spent the remainder of the three heats trying to get past a few girls that always seemed to be between me and the freedom of skiing in the front. Having learned from the sprint that moves have to be made early, I tried to skip the “resting sections”, and double pole while others were tucking, even if it was only going to get me a ten-foot advantage. With such a short course, everything mattered.  Jessie and I ended up finishing fifth, and only two seconds off the podium. We both tried to celebrate and tried to be positive, but we were left frustrated, knowing we were strong enough to have won a medal that day. No regrets, we had done our absolute best.

Relay socks and war paint. (Nordic Focus photo)

Smiling about giving our best. (Getty Images)

The third race was the 10k classic. The real “dark horse” event for me.  I have struggled with classic wax in quite a few of the races I have started the last few years, so I never know what is going to happen when I put classic skis on. I have worked extra hard to keep believing in myself as a classic racer through the experience, but that is sometimes my biggest hurdle.  When things come together, they can be amazing. But when they don’t, I have no chance. Having had a great few weeks of training in Davos, I was feeling great about classic! I went into that 10k with a totally open mind. My goal was to dial everything I could control, and judge my day on that. With a collection of dry and wet snow out there, it was particularly difficult to pick what to race on. As I went out and tested, I stayed calm, chose to go thin on kick to run the hills and hopefully glide better, and committed to the plan. I took off the start line in full focus, attacked from the start, ignored all feelings, and fought. I am not sure there is any race this season that I have been so mentally focused and positive. I dug so deep that I lay on the finish line, dizzy, and gasping for air for a solid two minutes before I got up and walked out of the finish area. When I saw the result, I was pretty crushed! I was proud of my “race”, stayed mentally positive and engaged, and the posted “number” didn’t seem to show it.  As I saw my teammates, Jessie, Sophie and Rosie finish right around me, I at least felt hopeful that maybe we had missed something in wax. 

Making a race strategy with my coach (Erik Flora) and my technician (Jean-Pascal Laurin) before the start of the race. (Reese Brown photo)

Not to worry, it was relay time! We had a new team that we had never tried before, deciding to switch up some order from earlier in the season. Getting ready that morning all together, putting our face paint on, and dancing around to the Shakira Pandora music station, I was so happy. I took a mental picture that morning to remember what it feels like to be so excited, nervous, and in love with what I do! The race went off to a hot pace, and the four of us fought for every second. We ended up finishing fifth again, only 40 seconds off the podium, and chose to feel encouraged by the experience! That was a great start for this new team! 

Talking race tactics with Julia Kern before the start of the relay. So fun and exciting to know she is eight years younger than me and was starting her first ever 4x5km relay with the team. It was incredible to watch her fearlessly attack that first leg of the relay. There is no doubt this girl is full of guts! (Reese Brown photo)

The relay day was one of the hottest days of the Championships. Part of our team strategy was how to stay cool during the heat. Here we are stuffing snow into Jessie’s suit as she crosses the line wearing a t-shirt and shorts version of our race suit. (Nordic Focus photo)

For the next 48 hours, I did my best to conserve every last bit of energy, stay out of the sunshine, and get ready for the big 30k war. With slow, soft conditions, I knew I was going to have to get stoked for “no rest”. With the warm weather, the down hills were slowly becoming working sections, so it was going to be a race of attrition! 

Recovery day goals: drink a ton, eat a ton, ski super slow, and stay out of the sun as much as possible. (Nordic Focus photo)

 As I came off the line in the 30k, I was blown away at the pace. I felt like we were going sprint pace for the first three kilometers. I panicked, not knowing if I would make it to the finish. Somewhere around seven kilometers, my brain “popped”. In the very important “hang on for dear life” section, the disappointment and frustration of the week took over my focus. Ski racing requires so much belief, confidence, fearlessness, and risky mental talk! You have to be willing to kill yourself to hang. That final day in Seefeld, that part of my brain was fried. I had used it all up that week without realizing it. I managed to hang on to 15th, a result that is good, but not what I was capable of that day. My body was firing, but my brain unfortunately wasn’t.

Racing with a view! (Nordic Focus photo)

 Every Championship is going to have its ups and downs. Sometimes I think it is harder to have a dream than to not care at all. These past two Championships, I have known I have a shot to fight for podiums, which is an exciting experience, but also mentally challenging. You do your best to nail the pieces you can control, and then are forced to analyze the result without considering the “place on a piece of paper”. 

When I look back on these Championships, I will remember those days that I committed, believed, and was in full focus. I will forget the piece of paper that reads a number, but I will remember some pretty incredible moments and feelings. 

So as Jo would say, no regrets for committing to those two weeks in Seefeld like I never have before. I learned a lot in those two weeks, and for that, I wouldn’t change it. Looking forward, it’s game time now! Time to let out all the frustration “on the course”. I have five more races to unleash my brain and body’s best abilities!

Thank you Seefeld for the sun and smiles throughout the entire two weeks!

 Thanks to everyone who came and cheered through the last few weeks. It meant the world to see so many familiar faces. And thanks to everyone else cheering and believing from afar. But most importantly, thanks to Jo for helping me keep perspective in this mentally and physically exciting experience of trying to be the best in the world!

I remain a student of this sport, and look forward to finishing out this season!

Thank you to these amazing ladies, Zuzana Rodgers and Steph McKeen for all their massage and PT work to keep us in one working piece through all the racing!

The Man in the Shadow

Have you ever noticed while you are watching the “pre-race” shots, or the pictures the day before the race, all the World Cup athletes seem to have a little “shadow” around them? For me, that little shadow has a curly mustache, a French accent, and a silly little giggle. He is my wax technician, and the man in charge of organizing, managing, and waxing the skis I race on.

The technician in the shadow (SIA Nordic photo)

Did somebody say cheese??? (SIA Nordic Photo)

This man in my shadow has been working with me for five years now. When he joined the team, he joined a staff of six other technicians from all over the world, working under the roof of “United States Ski Team”.  The first years were spent getting to know my style of skiing, my style of kick, and my brand of skis. 

This man in my shadow is part of my team, but also part of the “big team”. On the US Ski Team, all the technicians work together to make a glide, and a kick call. They often arrive to the venue around four to five hours before the race, testing and gliding to pick a wax for the entire team. From there, each technician is in charge of one man and one women’s waxing.  They apply the “team call on wax” to three or four of the athlete’s best pair of skis for the day. One and a half hours before the start, the athlete arrives, and the technician and athlete ski around and pick the best pair of skis, and then dial in that pair of skis perfectly for the race. Thirty to forty minutes before the start of the race, the technician goes racing back to the wax truck, and applies the finishing powders and speedy wax to the skis to make them race ready. From there, they run the skis to the start, click them on the athletes feet, and the race is on!

Testing the best of the best the morning of the race (Nordic Focus photo)

 The man in the shadow is a huge piece of the athlete’s success or dissapointments. A pair of skis can both “make” or “break” a day. The man in the shadow has the finishing touches on their athlete’s dreams and goals. Stress, chaos, crazy weather…. all these elements are something the technician must take on without showing visual stress. Their confidence in their work is contagious to the athlete. Some of my most successful races in my career have been when “the man in my shadow” has convinced me that he will perform magic on my skis in stressful weather situations. Because of a mutual trust, I put my belief In his work, and he puts his belief in mine.

The waxing crew inside the truck that makes up the american waxing team.

The man in the shadow has a heart of his own. On the days he doesn’t succeed, it is often as hard for him as it is for me. But you are a team, so you take the time to learn from it so that you are better next time. All you can expect is his best, the same you expect of yourself. On the days you succeed, you know his hard work was 50% of the opportunity! You are a team, with the same dream. 

“the French touch” some would say…..

 The man in the shadow is a keeper of my ski fleet. I have approximately fifty different skis, for fifty different conditions. Skis vary in flex, grinds, construction, length, wax pockets, models, and more. When one pair may look like the other, the “man in the shadow” knows better. He spends all day working in the wax truck, competing against all the other “best in the world” technicians trying to create the “best skis in the world”.  

Trying to dial the fine line of enough kick, but not too much drag (Caitlin Patterson photo)

Although I can get by waxing my own skis during training…. I would never get by on the World Cup! (Ophira photo)

 The man in my shadow is Jean-Pascal Laurin. He has been my technician for five years now, and he has had the finishing touches on my best and worst races. He knows when to crack a joke before the start to ensure I am still having fun, and he knows when to tell me to get focused. He is working his butt off for a common goal. This job wouldn’t be possible without him, and the team of technicians that make up our waxing staff. So next time you see the little shadow skiing around with us, make sure you give an extra cheer for them too. We couldn’t be here without them!

JP at work (Caitlin Patterson photo)

A massive thank you to JP and all the other incredible technicians that are part of our team! We may not get to bring you up onto the podium on our amazing days, but I can guarantee your shadow will be there!

Thank you JP! (Nordic Focus photo)

From a Podium High to Ground Shaking Chaos

This past weekend was one of the more wild World Cup weekends I have had. I have been racing on the World Cup tour full time now for five years, and I have had a variety of disappointments, excitements, achievements, and even heartbreaks.  This past one came in a new form.

Friday morning I woke up to an extremely rainy day in Lillehammer, Norway… where we generally find winter bliss in early November. But this year, we found plus temperatures, green grass, and a white ribbon of man made snow spread across a 5k course through the hills. Having quite a bit of experience training in rain in Anchorage, I prepared myself for a day of cold, wet madness. Thankfully LL Bean provides us with a great rain suit, so we are ready to take on those miserable days. But, there is more to it than that. On a sprint day, you are racing up to four times per day, with a lot of time in between where the sole goal is to keep your muscles and mind warm and ready to sprint at max speed for 3-4 minutes. One cold muscle can make the difference between your top speed and your top, top speed that you need to advance through the heats. I rolled up to the venue with just about my entire suitcase of spare clothes, and layered up the nano-puff under my rain suit… to the point that I looked like a fluorescent, wet snowman. What felt silly performed wonders. I was able to have my best skate sprint ever, and advance all the way to the finals, crossing the line in third, for my first ever skate sprint podium! 

Skating in the rain (George Forbes photo)

Reaching my tenth podium on the World Cup Circuit felt different and special. Skate sprinting was the final discipline in our sport that I hadn’t reached the podium at yet, and it was one of my main goals for the season. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I was walking out to the podium, remembering that you can never take success for granted. During the long summer months, you sometimes wonder if you are doing things long enough or hard enough. During the struggles of your training blocks, you wonder if you have messed everything up. During the toughest training sessions of the year, you wonder if you are mentally tough enough. When all things come together, it feels like a miracle! For that reason, success will always feel like something special, as it is never a guarantee.

One of my favorite things my teammate Jessie says is, “I don’t ever want to let one moment in the past, whether that moment was positive or negative, define who I am today. I have to earn the right to be proud of who I am each and every day.”

Happy Girls! (Fischer/Nordic Focus photo)

Flower Ceremony (Matt Whitcomb photo).

I love how this pictures captures the magic behind a moment. Here I am on the podium, surrounded by the waxing and coaching team that helped make my successful day possible. Thank you to this crew for making some wonderful skis!

 Living on a high, I headed back to the hotel following Friday’s sprint race, so excited to share the news with my friends and family back home that would be waking up soon. A group text chain with all my new and old teammates started congratulating me on my podium. Not long after, Kikkan and Holly started typing into our group message about a massive earthquake hitting home. Expecting it to be like our average quake, my roommate Rosie Brennan and I laughed it off. And then the pictures started coming in. People’s stuff thrown everywhere in the house made me hope that a random object on the shelves or walls didn’t crush my house sitter. After texting with her, I learned she had already left home, and had gone airborne in her car while the quake went off as she was commuting to work, but she was ok. Completely forgetting about my exciting afternoon, I started reading stories online of the damage, and became worried about my home and city. Images showed roads, bridges and houses collapsed. Trying to stay calm, a small stress grew inside of me wondering about the status of my empty home. As I crossed all my World Cup companions in the dining hall, they excitedly congratulated me on my day, but I struggled to hear them, as I had my mind on something completely out of my control back home.

crazy pictures coming in.

 Finally as I was getting ready for bed, I called up Holly Brooks, and asked her to go check on my home. Broken belongings aren’t a big deal, but I wanted to make sure there wasn’t a gas or water leak destroying the place. By this time it was 10PM, and I needed to focus on two more days of racing coming my way. Energy is hard to come by, and I knew I was bleeding it with worry. But I just had to know everything was ok before I was going to sleep. Shortly after Holly arrived, I heard my neighbors on our security system say, “there is water spraying everywhere”, and my heart went into panic. Here I was thousands of miles away from home, and feeling like I couldn’t do anything.

Fortunately, I didn’t have a whole lot of my smaller belongings break!

 Thankfully, I sent the right friend over. She managed to crawl under the house, shut the main water off, get ahold of Jo (who was out of town working), and fill me in, “there is a small leak, but it is ok.” Not knowing much, I laid awake all night ensuring myself that Holly had it under control, Jo would be able to fly home to the rescue soon, and nobody had died… all wonderful things. Being a worrywart though, I couldn’t take it off my mind. As I lined up for the individual start race on Saturday morning, my mind was in Anchorage. The crazy images were stuck in my brain. I was about to start a 30-minute race that I needed to be in the moment, ready for the pain cave, rather than home in Anchorage. After 2.5k, I headed up the massive climb on the course, and felt my brain click. There it was… back in place, ready to fight. I skied the final 7.5k of the race pushing myself as hard as possible and crossed the line happy to have made it, and put together a race I was proud of.

Finding my focus as I approached the top of the long climb. (Jack Constantine photo)

Saturday evening, Jo had flown home, and walked me through the house showing me all the damage. I had built it up much worse in my head… typical behavior for me.  Thankfully my little French construction worker is going to be able to make everything okay. We managed to water the streets of the entire neighborhood, test out the limits of our stump pump, and give our basement and garage a good washing… but my little house on the hill will survive!

 As I finished out the final race yesterday of the mini-tour, I celebrated making it through, as well as Anchorage making it through. I am so happy and thankful to know that there were no casualties in the 7.0 shaking of the city. I feel for the people that have a lot of clean up work to do. And more than anything I am darn thankful for the people in my life: the ones that celebrate the highs with me, but also are there for me in the shaking chaos too. 

Classic climbing on the final day of the tour (George Forbes photo)

One of my friends wrote to me and told me that Anchorage had jumped up and down so hard celebrating my podium that they had shaken the ground a little too hard. If that is the case, I have a lot of friends and fans back home, so thanks for the cheers. But next time, lets bring it back down to a level 1 celebration!

Special shout out to my brother, Erik, who had the 3rd fastest time in yesterdays pursuit race. Pretty proud of this boy!!!! Although they don’t put time of day on a “podium”, I am counting this as Erik’s first World Cup podium, because yesterday, he skied the third fastest of anyone out there!

I am back on the bus now, headed to our next stop on the World Cup tour in Beitostølen, Norway.  I am looking forward to a week of recovering and catching up on some lost zzz’s. There is a 4x5km relay coming up this weekend, so be sure to tune in and watch. Saturday is a 15km skate, and Sunday is the relay event. If you haven’t found it yet, you can now get a winter subscription to NBC for a very affordable price to follow our races this winter!

Happy 30th to this little nugget! And congrats to Rosie for an amazing start to the season. Pretty cool to see!!

Thanks to everyone who sent me notes these last few days, it means the world!

4.5 Months On The Road With Mary Poppins

One of the secret toughest parts of being a professional cross country ski racer, and traveling on the World Cup Circuit, is packing up your bags and leaving home for 4-5 months straight.  The actual process of “being gone” we get used to. The first few weeks can be painful as we shift back into hotel rats, but as with anything… you can get used to it. Every new hotel room we walk into, we shift the whole room around, doing our little feng shui to make it our own. Since we always are living with roommates, the first step is to make the room big. Put the two beds parallel to the wall, which allows for an open middle space for stretching, or just feeling a little more “homey”. Second step is to put all our belongings in the drawers or closets if they exist. If that doesn’t exist, then turn our duffle bags into shelving. This allows it to feel a bit more organized and “home”, rather then clothes and belongings everywhere. And third, put up some pictures, candles, and stuffed animals… some little small trinkets that make us feel happy.

OK, so as you can see, we have found a way to survive. We may be hotel hoppers, but we have adapted to the lifestyle to make it our own. After six full years of doing this… maybe hotels are closer to home to me. But, the one part for me that I have always struggled to adapt to is the “living out of a bag”. I am a woman of things, and always have been. I struggle to wear the same shirt and same pair of pants every single day for five months. So the challenge becomes, how to give a little spark to my 50 pound allowance?

Anyone who knows me well knows that packing for the World Cup is “a thing” for me. I often start making my pile somewhere around one month out, and each day leading to my departure I add a little, take something out, look through it, think about it… make sure that come Nov. 12 when I hit the road, I am dialed. I even have “packing parties” where I bring my teammates over and ask them to tell me what to take and what to take out. 50 pounds is a small amount of belongings when you realize that it is everything I will live off of.  So, in case anyone is curious what is hidden in that Mary Poppins bag of mine for five months…I will show you what: 

1.    Sport Nutrition Product- sport bars that I know I can eat before the race. Gummies that I know don’t give me a side ache. Drink mix that I know I like and doesn’t upset my stomach, NUUN to keep me drinking throughout the day. Almond Butter to add a little protein into a meal if it doesn’t work. And finally, some recovery drink so that I always have something quick to get into my system post race.

2.    Special Treats- American gum, American coffee, gin-gins for carsick rides. I’m sorry friends, but these items are just not the same in Europe...and the real deal makes me happy!

3.    Happy Lamp- The first and last month of our tour is often in the darker northern Scandinavian countries. Since we don’t always get to see the sun, our vitamin D levels and happy state can drop. This year I brought a small 1 pound 10,000 lux lamp to sit in front of during breakfast to help both happiness and jet lag. Your mind wants to know it is day out…. So why not help it out a bit?

4.    Vitamins and Immunity kit- As a professional athlete, I have to be so careful about what I am putting in my body. Competing clean means being aware of any potential product that could lead to a positive doping test. Even something such as a child’s cold medication with pseudoephedrine is banned. The best way to know we are clean is to know our medicines. You never know when a cold is going to come your way, and you are going to want some zinc, vitamin C, or Tylenol. For that reason, I travel with my own little “med kit” of things such as cough drops, Cold-FX, and throat coat tea.  

5.    Sport layers- one thin, medium and thick long underwear layer for top and bottom as well as a gym outfit. 

6.    Jeans and Shirts- here is where it is the hardest for me. Sometimes we are in hotels that are warm, sometimes we hike to meals in the cold… so we have to have something for everything. So, two t-shirts, two sweaters, one long sleeve, one sweatshirt, one pair of sweat pants, and two pairs of jeans. Man, you better love those items…because is your life for the next 4.5 months.

7.    Jackets- being in a winter sport means we need to have lots of options for a huge variety of weather conditions. I found out last fall I am allergic to down, so this has become extra challenging to me. Synthetic hasn’t proven to be as warm… so I end up bringing more layers to help make the warmest option. So, thin training jacket, thick training jacket, rain jacket, thin puffy, thicker podium puffy, puffy vest and training vest. 

8.    Skhoop Skirt- I am super excited about traveling with this new piece of clothing, called “the Sadie”. I’m pretty excited to know I will always have a cozy bum!  

9.    Bottom layers- puffy pants, rain pants, and two over pants.

10.Shoes- OMG shoes… another issue for me! Snow boots, casual shoes to wear inside during meals at the restaurant, running shoes, “heel less slippers” for when my heels flare up (I call these four wheel drive slippers, because they often get worn outside when I have to), “over” spikes for when it is super icy out, five pairs of ski boots (old skate and classic, new skate and classic that I am still trying to break in, and skiathlon boots).

11.Bathroom bag- you know it, you name it. All the above.

12.Hats/Gloves/Buffs- Another hard department because I need to be prepared for everything. The hot days, the wet days, the freezing cold days, and the normal days. In addition, I need two of each for gloves so I have one to warm up in, one to race in. 

13.Glasses- a variety of lenses for a variety of conditions. Flat light and super sunny light!

14.Bathing suit- Because ice baths are a regular part of our post race routine. 

15.Massage tools- foam roller and lacrosse ball, the basic tools to flush your muscles and arches. 

16. Ear Phones- Noise canceling, training buds, and sleep buds. New this year are my sleep buds that play calming noises to help block out the loud noises that sometimes come with hotels or loud roommates.

17. Socks, Sports Bras, and Underlayers- Spare you the details, but enough to deal with only getting to do laundry every once or two weeks. 

18.Technology- laptop, phone and kindle. 

And that about sums it up. Sadly, I am not as powerful as Mary Poppins… and all of this actually weighs more than 50 pounds combined. But, I am pretty good at putting my heaviest items in my carry on, and eventually I make it fit! 

So, now you know how it works. How I manage to live this life out of a bag, hotel hopping across the world. Even if I get homesick sometimes, or I miss my bed, I still love the heck out of this life! I like to think my semi-professional packing skills are advancing at the same rate as my professional skiing skills…. but I am not sure I can say that.  So if you see me running through the airport, and you wonder why I have a goofy rolling carry on, now you know why! It is a box of bricks inside that would break my back in half if I tried to carry it. 

Time to get this season started! I have spent this first week in Beitestollen Norway, where I have gotten a chance to do a ski testing camp with Fischer and my technician.  By luck, the snow has been amazing here, unlike most other parts of Scandinavia. It sure is sad to see winter leaving us! Monday we head to Kuusamo where the opening World Cup races are. Sadly there is only about 2.5km of man-made snow. The hunt for winter continues!

Some beautiful skiing up above Beitostolen.

Testing camp with my tech, JP, and Scott Patterson (who JP also waxes for).

Pretty thankful to go back to having somebody help with this part! (Ophira Group photo)

My schedule for the winter is posted here for anyone that wants to follow:

http://www.sadiebjornsen.com/competition-calendar/

Let’s get this party started!

Altitude Camp

I just finished up my final camp of the preparation period before this new season gets started. Every fall we head down to Park City, Utah, where the US Ski Team is based out of for an altitude block. My favorite part of this camp is that we generally skip the awkward season back in AK where there is just enough snow on the ground that you can’t rollerski, but not enough to be able to ski on. By migrating down south to Park City, we enjoy an extra two weeks of Vitamin D, thin air, and good company. 

Making a stop on my way to camp to visit my sister, brother in law, and my adorable nephew.

This year followed the same wonderful trend, except for one little part. Instead of skipping that “half snow” season in AK, we brought it with us to Park City. For the first few days of camp we had to get creative in order to find ways to get our interval sessions and easy distance in. The trails were either covered in snow, or this sticky form of mud/clay that happens in the west. While at first it was frustrating, by the end of camp I loved to wake up to the white ski runs and the crisp air. For whatever reason, I think it put everyone in an awesome place. The smell of winter pushed us a little more in each interval set, and helped us bond as our minds drifted towards our winter goals. Just like my spring epiphany about this new and exciting young team, I was reminded how fun it is going to be this season. Everyone looked amazing, and there was no shortage of motivation and belief.

Feels like winter! Morning views on the way to training.

The US Ski Team girls (minus Sophie Caldwell and Ida Sargent). SIA Nordic photo

Trying out our new suits for the season. We will now being racing in Swix and LL Bean!

During the last couple days of the camp, the coaches put together some practice races for us in order to get our minds ready for the season. I will always remember the first couple years when I was on the US Ski Team, I would fear the practice sprint race at the end of camp. I was terrified of going up against the A-team girls like Kikkan Randall. I was terrified of putting my elbows out and holding space. I was terrified of getting up over my skis, committing to my poles, with the risk of falling down and losing a layer of skin to the pavement. And most notably, I was scared of taking a risk, going too hard, and failing. In the six years since these fears overtook my brain, things have changed enormously. Not only have I learned to take risk, create my own space, and believe in myself, but it is the norm among our younger generation. The USA is no longer producing juniors that fear the fight. These young athletes are quite literally chomping at the bit. They speak about what they want to accomplish, they send it and often explode, and they aren’t afraid to lose some skin to the pavement. It is just so cool to see. I am starting to believe the USA has potential to be a Nordic nation. And to put a cherry on top of this movement, the USA has a bid in for a world cup race in three of the next four years. I can’t even imagine what this Park City practice sprint race is going to look like in four years!

I got to train with some of the young “up and coming” girls from my home town, Novie McCabe and Ella Kuzyk who are already crushing on the international level! How cool! (Bryan Fish photo)

Taking some time to focus not only on the training, but the technique piece too. (SIA Nordic)

The best part of practice racing is reminding yourself how much it hurts to enter into the pain cave. Gasping for air is just a side effect of doing it correctly. (Matt Whitcomb photo)

 I am now headed back to Anchorage for three more weeks of training and final preparation before taking off for the season. In case you are curious what some of the final things I will get up to before I say goodbye for five months, here are a few things on my “to do list”.

1)  Spend ten extra minutes in bed each morning appreciating how comfortable my own bed is.

2)  Put up a Christmas tree, decorate the house, blast Christmas music, wear warm cozy sweaters, and celebrate the holiday two months early. 

3)  Ship myself a care package to Europe for halfway through the season with my favorite little US goodies. Gum, Coffee, ProBar Gummies, good & plenty’s, and a few more little things.

4)  Bake and cook my favorite goodies and meals before being away from a kitchen for the season.

5)  Attempt to wear as many different outfits as possible, because soon I will only be limited to two options from day to day. 

6)  Take a moment to thank my sponsors, say goodbye to my friends, and share some extra hugs with my fiancé.

7)  Hopefully do some hot laps on the amazing Anchorage ski trails that I don’t get to enjoy all winter. 

Well that list should about make the most of every moment for the next three weeks before I pack up my duffle bag, jump on the plane, and chase after another season of exciting World Cup racing! Thank you to my coaches, teammates, physical therapist, massage therapists and supporters for helping make another successful preparation period!

Until then, if you hear some Christmas tunes blasting out of my home, don’t be afraid to come in and sing along!

At the end of the day, smile away! (Matt Whitcomb photo)

No Rest For the Weary?

"No rest for the weary!" For the longest time, this saying has been something that rolls off my tongue, and feels natural. If you are strong, you never rest! You must keep pushing. Never give up, just keep pushing. These are all sayings that we learn as kids, and it gives us our strength and work ethic. It teaches us to be stronger than we think we can, and as a result, often brings us further along in life.

For the majority of my ski career, "no rest for the weary" is what I tell myself all those afternoons when I stare out at the pouring rain, convincing myself to push on and ski another two high quality hours despite my aching, tired legs. Motivation and pushing myself are my strength and what has brought me to this level. It is hard to imagine that my true struggle could be how to let off the gas. Believe it or not, this is the struggle of most top level athletes

So focused on the larger goal, how could you imagine slowing down to rest? (Ophira Group)

Every summer, I work in four week blocks on my training. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I try to aim for four weeks. What that means is that I push myself for 3-3.5 of these weeks, and then give myself a mental and physical recovery before starting on to the next block. This pattern helps me break the summer up into workable chunks and workable goals. One block I may focus on technique, one block I focus on leg strength, one block I focus on speed, and one block I focus solely on intensity. The beauty of this schedule is that there are periodic "rest weeks" built in.

This block I was focused on making my legs stronger than ever. Thanks to Eagle Glacier for some soft snow, and tough climbs to do some quality damage! 

After having lots of experience throughout the past ten years of training at a high level, I have learned a lot. I have a book of lessons that I would love to pass on to the next generation, but what I often discover is that as an athlete, there are a lot of things you have to "learn for yourself". The advice of others is helpful, but in the end, you control your mind. If there was something I could add into those young kids minds, it would be that in fact, there is rest for the weary. Yes, you need to push yourself more than you thought possible, but never ever take out your mental and physical rest. In my opinion, these are the times you become stronger. This is when your muscles get the opportunity to absorb the work, and come back stronger. In addition, this is the time that your mind can also rest, and come back hungry to work.

Rest is a big ambiguous word. It can mean a lot. For me, it often means keeping my legs moving at some level. There will be days that I don't even put any training clothes on, but there will also be days that I go hiking with friends, or bike to the store for groceries. After completing this past block of one week of skiing on snow, and three hard weeks of dry land training- I am guessing there will be more than one day I don't put my training clothes on!

Until next block, cheers to a hard earned break, and some new fire and energy to take on my next step!

Recovery week strolls with Marine.

Recharging my mental power with some amazing friend dates. 

Muscle recovery work with The Alaska Club. (Classic Visions Photography)

My latest recovery week adventure choice.

Most importantly, a little bit of vertical time to truly recover! (Ophira Group)

Find Your Inspiration

Inspiration is defined as “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something”. In sports, we often find inspiration in amazing performances, successful accomplishments, aim at a big goal, a teammate’s breakthrough, or something else. I have always found inspiration easily, as I have been surrounded by amazing teammates doing amazing things. At the completion of this past Olympic quadrennial, I found myself searching for inspiration. Having completed my best ever season, ranked sixth in the world, and four individual podiums, I would have expected that was enough to get me super inspired this spring.

Since being a young kid, I have always been one to be terrified of change. I like when things work as planned, as scheduled, and as expected. I got my undergrad degree in accounting, because I love knowing a process. Numbers should add up, and a job should be done. Once I find a routine that works, I don't love to change it. These past four years, I have done an exceptional job of “doing last year”, but a bit better. I have been living in Anchorage, going to school, surrounded by amazing teammates, and chipping away at my plan. Each year I add one more layer of challenge, skill and strength, and I have accomplished new and improved levels!

At the start of this new training season, lots of change took place with the National Team. Four of my amazing teammates retired, one of my best and closest training buddies didn't get renamed to the team, and a slew of new young boys and girls got named. There was also a change in coaching roles, with the previous "women's coach", Matt Whitcomb, changing to "world cup coach", meaning he will now be coaching both the men's and women's team. In addition, for the first time ever, I didn't have an "end goal", not really knowing where I wanted to aim with my ski racing. Do I go to the next Olympics, or do I take one year at a time? All this unknown, and change kind of left me searching for inspiration to get the new training season going.

A new face within this team!

These past two weeks I have been down in Bend, Oregon for our annual National Team "spring camp". This is a camp where we spend the mornings on skis up at Mt. Bachelor, and the afternoons doing any sort of dry land activity we see fit. Running, biking, swimming, roller skiing, hiking, surfing the river wave, skipping through the woods taking selfless… whatever you want! In the days leading into this camp, I almost feared the "change", not really knowing what to expect. From the minute I stepped foot in Bend, I was pleasantly surprised with my immediate shift in feelings.

Working on my following. (Bryan Fish photo)

Learning from behind. (Bryan Fish photo)

I found myself questioning why have I always been so afraid of change? Change means something new, something different, and something refreshing. Surrounded by a slew of new young athletes, and a collection of extremely successful veterans, I felt overwhelmed by the buzz of excitement. In a ball full of anticipation, experience, and enthusiasm, the group vibe took off! With a new group comes new roles, and new experiences. I found myself unbelievably inspired by the young athletes of our team with no fear! Suddenly I felt totally charged, and excited to take on this new quadrennial. While the past one may have been a little more "planned", I am so excited to take on this new one with less of a plan, and more spontaneous energy! That is not to say I don't have goals and aspirations. Those still exist, but for the first time, I am heading into this next step in my career with my mind wide open, and I am totally inspired by that. We are all inspired by different things, and sometimes strange things. What I have found is that surrounding myself in a collection of exceptionally strong individuals has often led to dreaming bigger and faster! Thank god for teams and teammates. 

Enjoying the hard work!

Sharing some time with the Pacific Northwest's next generation of stars.

What I have realized this spring is sometimes it takes stepping backwards, and looking from a new angle to find your inspiration. I can't wait to see what this new group is going to accomplish together in our new roles and new places. I can already see these young new members of our team are fearless in every way, which is going to challenge the older generation to do things bigger and better! The United States has already become a force to be reckoned with, but what is next? It is time to keep working hard, and find out!

The young guns giving us a run for our money! (Bryan Fish photo)

A massive thank you to Mt. Bachelor and the Bend community for an amazing camp! While the snow was scarce, we were still able to do some amazing training these past two weeks! 

Spring skiing turning to summer skiing. 

Getting back into the speed of things. (Bryan Fish photo)

I am now back in Alaska for a week of dry land training before heading up for our first week of glacier training on Eagle Glacier. Speaking of change, we have some new members at APU, which will also provide a fun new change to summer training!

Thank you Mt. Bachelor for bringing out our smiles for the start of this training season!

And that is a Wrap!

In February, I wrote a blog post about holding on tight to life, because it was flying by at an unbelievably high speed, with an overwhelming amount of excitement. One quality of being extremely goal oriented is that you forget to take the time to "experience the achievements" before you are setting the next goal. I reminded myself of this in February, just before the Olympics Games, and I was forced to remind myself once again these last few weeks. "Sadie, don't forget to celebrate what you have achieved!"

My final month of racing this past season was fast, furious, and a dream come true. After dealing with some disappointment on the "big stage" during the Olympics, I think it was an understatement to say, "I was on a mission" in the final period of the season. Rather than being dragged down by the disappointment, I forced myself to conquer the frustration, and regather for the final three weeks of opportunities. In those three weeks, I crawled out of my little defeated pit, and I had some of my best races of my career. In the final kilometers of the season, I dug deep in my head, and used every last bit of fearless energy I had left. As I crossed the line in third, and walked up on that podium, I looked out to the crowd and breathed in that entire experience in! Rather than just being a step in my path, I allowed it to be a victory on my path!

Celebrating a podium in my final race. (Mathias Eriksson photo)

The only two skate podiums I have ever been on are both with Jessie... seems she is my lucky charm! (Mathias Eriksson photo)

Attempting to throw my flowers to my fiance out in the crowd... not the best aim..! (Mathias Eriksson photo)

Your brain and body are only as strong as you see possible. As every mother would say, "If you believe it, you can achieve it"… that is something I have learned is completely true for me. This season, for the first time, I started truly believing, which has allowed me to start achieving! I raced thirty five races throughout the course of this season, spanning across four and a half months, and accumulating 325 kilometers. That is thirty five times of standing on the start line, and digging to the deepest canals within your brain to see just how hard you are willing to fight. If there is only an inkling of doubt, it amounts to those precious few seconds that can separate you from podium to twelfth place. Staying fresh and "hungry" for that fight is one of the hardest parts of what I am doing right now. For that reason, my podium in the last World Cup race of the season is one of the moments I am most proud of in my career. Operating on my final fumes, I was able to muster up just enough fight and belief to power myself across the final stretch going head to head with Olympic Gold medalists, and secure my fourth podium of the season. It was a fun way to end, and a great memory to power some new goals and beliefs this coming season!

Following the final World Cup races of the season, I jumped on a plane, and made my final stop for Spring Nationals in Craftsbury, Vermont. I have always loved racing Spring Nationals, because in a way, it is a victory lap. While I am still racing my heart out, and digging to deep levels, it is the icing on the cake of a season. For four races, I get to suit up in my Alaska Pacific University club suit, join in with my club teammates, and enjoy the last races of the season, with no pressure or fear. Even though we keep the pedal down hard, I get to share the love of racing with some of the younger skiers in our country, and compete in the club relay, representing the team that has truly trained me to the place I am now. 

Celebrating a season with these wonderful APU teammates of mine! (Reese Brown photo)

Sad to see a couple of these wonderful women leave, but feeling pretty lucky I got to share so many special years with them! (Reese Brown photo).

Getting a chance to visit our head coach, Matt Whitcomb's cabin, at Burke Mountain. 

After finishing the final race of the season, a grueling 30-kilometer classic, my mind immediately went into that mode of "ok, what can I improve". I found myself setting all these new goals, analyzing my "goods" and "bads", and getting back to work. Thankfully, I caught myself. For the past few years, I have started rewarding myself with a "spring break" every April. For me, this is a bit of a carrot after a long season of hard work and effort. I have always thought of it as a good way to force recover my muscles. What I realized this year is that I needed it for more reasons than that. For whatever reason, this season was more mentally taxing than ever before- maybe that comes with higher highs, which make lows feel lower. So, this year I decided I was going on vacation for my brain!

Just enough time at home to visit my good friend, Holly Brooks, and her adorable twins, Brooks and Ruby.

Thank you Anchorage for a fun welcome home party!!

After being home for a short nine days, I repacked my bags and headed south. My first stop was in Seattle, where I got a chance to visit all the Saltchuk operating companies, and share stories and inspiration with the employees. Saltchuk has been my headgear sponsor for the past four years, and it has been unbelievably fun and rewarding to represent them on and off the ski courses. They have truly gotten behind my dreams, and provided the support that has allowed these dreams to turn into achievable goals. I want to give an enormous thank you to the Saltchuk Family for believing in me!

Sharing stories. (Tonya Lunke photo)

Signing posters for some kids at the Tacoma Boys & Girls Club. (Tonya Lunke photo)

My next step was getting to spend some time with family, whom has also been a huge part of this journey. Unfortunately, part of my job is that I never get to spend quite enough time with loved ones, but they keep loving me despite that, and supporting me along the way.  As I laughed, celebrated, and cherished my moments with my family, I took in every breath of love, and recharged my "brain bank". This is the energy that keeps me going, fighting, and digging throughout eleven months of the season towards these exciting, and amazing goals of mine.

Enjoying every second of this giggly little nephew of mine!

Kaley and Carters first ever backcountry ski!

WIndow reflection family photo.

Jo and I are now official godparents of Carter!

Making the most of some adventure time at home. 

As I arrived home to the Methow Valley, I was greeted by a wonderful welcome home parade, which allowed me to celebrate this Olympic season with the community I grew up in. These are the people that watched me start dreaming, supported these dreams, and have encouraged me since. As I was riding through town in a horse carriage, waving to the wonderful people of my community, I felt so much love, support, and pride. The Methow is my family, and the wonderful people there have helped raise me!

Thank you Rita Kenny, and the whole Methow Valley for making me feel so special and supported!

My little escort into Winthrop. 

My final stop of "brain vacation" was in Zion, Utah. Having never been adventuring in the desert before, Noah Hoffman finally convinced me to come join him for a couple days. It turns out the desert is everything you would dream of and more. Noah did an awesome job of "tour guiding" Jo and I around to some pretty incredible adventures, camping spots, and views. Noah retired this spring, along with some of my other teammates, which will be quite the adjustment for our team. I am not looking forward to some of our integral leaders and teammates to be gone, but am also excited for the challenge of stepping up and trying to fill their shoes. We have a pretty strong new generation knocking at the door, so we better keep this train on the track! 

A giant playground!

Best hotel around!

A variety of techniques... who did it better...? (Noah Hoffman photo)

Venturing down the black hole! (Noah Hoffman photo)

Dream Team, ready to take on the cold water at the bottom!

I am now back in Alaska, and back to another year of chipping away towards new levels and new steps in this sport. While I had to put a hold on refocusing, I have now allowed myself to open the door again, and I can't wait to work towards some improvements, and see what I can accomplish next season! 

Before I flip to the next page though, I want to make sure I get a chance to thank everyone for sharing this year with me! I have felt so much love and support throughout the summer training months, and the winter of racing. Whether it was an email of encouragement, a voice along the course, a sponsorship to help make it possible, or a hug of support, you have all made this journey beautiful and attainable! Thanks for being a part of my larger family in this incredible world. And now, it is time to flip the page, and see what kind of new levels I can reach! 

Until next time...